Keepers of the Home - July 2007 Notes

We have talked about GOAL's a few months ago, but I wanted to talk about GOAL's in relationship to scheduling our days to count important what is of eternal value and to be able to accomplish the things God has for us and the tyranny of the urgent which so often is a stumbling block to us achieving the things that the Lord has for us to do.

GOAL's: Godly Ordained Activities for my Life:

Are goals that are based upon God's principles, and directions as well as our husbands needs, and desires as he leads our families. These goals are also things that the Lord would have me to do, to meet the needs of my husband and family as well as serve in my community as the seasons of my life permit. 

These goals can also be goals that help equip me and that refresh and strengthen me to become the Proverbs 31 woman that I desire to be. The areas that these goals might be in are personal growth, marriage, parenting, physical, home making skills, organization, home schooling etc. They are spiritual goals, physical goals, and mental goals. They are goals that affect every area of my life as a child of God, woman, wife and mother.

Tyranny of the Urgent: (The Red Letter Bookstore has this booklet for sale. I hope you will purchase this booklet. I pray it will encourage you and help you, as it has me!)

Our greatest danger is letting the urgent things of life crowd out the important!

We live in a constant TENSION between the urgent and the important. 

Many of us feel that if we just had more hours in our day then that would somehow solve our dilemma of not having enough time to do all we need to or want to in our day. But is this true? God tells us to think on what is true in Phil. 4:8-9 If we had 36 hours in our day we'd find ourselves filling all 36 hours, .and feeling that 36 hours wasn't enough time either!

 In our society today we are living with NO MARGIN! We spend to the max our time, money, and energy! We are teaching our children to do the same! Years ago, people saw the value of building in a "margin" to their lives. They did not spend their entire paycheck and then some. They made sure they left room for some margin, some extra, just in case. Today, no matter how much our husbands make, we tend to spend the whole thing, we live to the max. Many families have little or no savings, .no margin. We don't just do this with our money, we do it with our time as well. We find it difficult to budget our time and our money!

God worked and then he rested. He told us to do the same. He set up a pattern for us to live our lives by. All throughout his Word, we can read many verses that talk about the value of working hard and about being diligent, responsible, and faithful. But God also tells us that we need to live our lives making sure that our priorities are lined up with Him and with what HE tells us is important in life. 

Luke 9:23-25 says "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross DAILY and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me, will save it. What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, and yet lose or forfeit his very self? "

Many times we are striving and struggling in our lives to attain what the world says is important, but in the end we will lose what is truly important!

There are sooo many pressures all around us today telling us exactly the opposite of what God's Word says to us! Newspapers, magazines, TV, radio, movies etc. all are telling us many times exactly the opposite of what God's will would be. So we have to be wise and we have to go to the real source of TRUTH, .God and his Word!

It is not just the world around us, .our own hearts are sinful and our flesh is weak!

We are selfish and self-centered apart from God and his work of renewing and redemption in our lives. Our hearts are deceitful and without the Holy Spirit and God's Word to help us, .we do not see just how wrong we are and how off track we can become! That is why we need to be in God's Word DAILY asking him to search our hearts and to see if there is any offensive way in us! Then as the Holy Spirit shows us what is really going on that should not be, we can go and make it right with God and whomever else we may need to and we can wisely turn from it and follow the Lord. As we are reading God's Word DAILY we will be learning what God's ways are and we will be learning from the Lord how to walk in his ways and apply his truth and principles to our lives. As we look to him DAILY he will help us make the small corrections we need to much as a ships captain does to a vessel he is sailing to keep it on the correct path.

Psalm 139:23-24 says "Search me O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is ANY offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting."

David wrote this, and he was wise. He knew that he needed help from God to know what was really going on in his own heart! We are so easily deceived! We need to ask God as David did to please search us DAILY and show us if there is any thing that we need to make right, or anything that we need to stop doing or start doing depending on what God knows is best for us. With so much around us each day (our own sinful hearts, the media, TV, radio, friends and family etc.) telling us the OPPOSITE of what God's Word says, we need to DAILY be in God's truth so our thinking can be renewed! We need to want and desire to live God's way and to want and desire his help and grace, DAILY! If we are looking to the Lord DAILY, .he is able to show us little by little the direction we need to go. He will be giving us insight and instruction and he says that as we humble ourselves and obey he will bless us and give us grace.

Proverbs 8:32-34 "Now then, my sons, listen to me; blessed are those who keep my ways. Listen to my instruction and be wise; do not ignore it. Blessed is the man who listens to me, watching DAILY at my doors, waiting at my doorway."

We will be so very blessed if we LISTEN to the Lord and his wisdom. We will be blessed if we KEEP his ways. We will be blessed if we spend DAILY time with the Lord and in his Word. If we follow his instructions and what he is showing us to do by the leading of the Holy Spirit and as we follow God's principles and apply them to our lives that he gives us in His Word.

Psalm 25:4-5 "Show me your ways, O Lord, teach me your paths; guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior and my hope is in you all day long."

Today many in the world put their hope in themselves, in their abilities, in their talents, in their own strength and in their own thoughts. As believers we need to realize what is true and do what is right and good and biblical. We need to put our hope in Jesus and ALL HE is able to do! Our hope as believers is not in ourselves, .it should be in Jesus. We need to realize how very, very much we need Him to show us HIS ways and teach us HIS paths and guide us in HIS truth. We need HIS instruction to know what is right and to know HIS way which leads to life everlasting!

Psalm 25:8-10 "Good and upright is the Lord; therefore he instructs sinners in his ways. He guides the humble in what is right, and teaches them his way. All the ways of the Lord are loving and faithful."

Psalm 25:12 "Who, then, is the man that fears the Lord? He will instruct him in the way chosen for him."

Psalm 25:15 "My eyes are ever on the Lord, for only he will release my feet from the snare."

Many of us today, feel we are ensnared by our sin and by the wrong way we've been living. We feel ensnared by the pressures of our lives and by the busyness of it all! It is only as we humble ourselves before the Lord, repent and turn to him that we truly see our need for his redeeming and sanctifying work in our lives, that he will lovingly set us free! J He will help us and show us and teach us the way he would have us to go! His way brings us peace, and joy and blessings.

Many of us are living to gain what the world says is important. In the end we will look back with a sense of remorse as we realize that what the world says is important if FAR different than what God says is important. We will look back over our lives with regret and with emptiness, .for whoever seeks to gain the "whole world" or what the world says is important and what the world says they should be doing, will find that as he looks back he has lost and forfeited his very self! The path will be strewn with broken relationships, and trophies that the world has given that are being rotted with rust and eaten by moths.

Matt 6: 19-21 "Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."

Luke 12:15-34 Then Jesus told them "Watch out! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; a man's life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions. And then he told them this parable: "The ground of a certain rich man produced a good crop. He thought to himself 'What shall I do? I have no place to store my crops.' "Then he said, 'This is what I'll do. I will tear down my barns and build bigger ones, and there I will store all my grain and my goods. And I'll say to myself, "You have plenty of good things laid up for many years. Take life easy; eat, drink and be merry." But God said to him, 'You fool!' This very night your life will be demanded from you. Then who will get what you have prepared for yourself?" This is how it will be with anyone who stores up things for himself but is not rich toward God. Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear. Life is more than food and the body more than clothes. Consider the ravens; They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable are you than the birds! Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest? Consider how the lilies grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you, not even Solomon in all his splendor was not dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today, and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, how much more will he clothe you, O you of little faith! And do not set your heart on what you will eat or drink; do not worry about it. For the pagan world RUNS AFTER all such things, and your Father KNOWS that you need them. But seek his kingdom, and these things will be given to you as well. "Do not be afraid" little flock, for your Father has been pleased to give you the kingdom. Sell your possessions and give to the poor. Provide purses for yourselves that will not wear out, a treasure in heaven that will not be exhausted, where no thief comes near and no moth destroys. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."

Sometimes we can be tempted to buy into the lies that are all around us these days, . being that our life is all about what we do and what we own and about what we accomplish that others can admire. Someone shared the other day that a lot of people today are in a horde and flaunt type of living. We are wrongly tempted to horde what we have and to flaunt it to others. Often this is where we are tempted to feel our worth is. This is not God's truth! Our life is not about the abundance of possessions we own, Jesus says! We are not to worry about food and clothing, we are not to "set our hearts on worry about how we'll provide for our needs", .God knows our needs and he WILL provide them, as we faithfully first seek HIS KINGDOM!  As we seek Jesus and seek to do his will in our lives, ..He will provide what we need. As we are faithfully by his grace doing HIS WILL in our lives and living out his purpose for our lives, he will faithfully provide all that we need.

We need to ask God to truly show us the real state of our hearts and to show us how we should be living and what we should be doing. We should not be living with a fear of man, but instead a fear of God. Which is a healthy awe and respect for God. Knowing that one day we must give an account to Him for how we've lived our lives.

Proverbs 29:25 "Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is kept safe."

As we look to the Lord and stop and really think about it we find that our problem lies not in a shortage of time, but in not being able to properly prioritize our lives to accomplish that which is truly important to us, or should be important to us.

Most of us know how to work hard and the joy and achievement you experience from doing a job well done!  Doubt and misgiving produce anxiety though, when we look back over the last week, or last month or last year and realize that we failed to do that which was really important. For instance we may have worked hard at work and made all our quota's, and even have earned a bonus, but, at home we may realize that we've lost our child's heart. And so we struggle with the guilt and the uneasiness that we've left undone things we should have been doing, and counting important in our lives and relationships.

The problem is that many of the things that are truly important things in our lives don't usually HAVE to be done today or even this week.

Many times the urgent, .but less important tasks of life call for immediate response. I know as a young mother with many small children the word picture that I often could relate to the most was a pinball machine! J I felt like the ball being bounced around from one urgent thing to another. I would almost get dizzy from all the craziness and busyness and "urgencies" all throughout my day. This was especially true before we had a daily schedule when we just sort of tried to "wing it" or to just allow ourselves to "drift" through the day.

Also throughout our days we now have cell phones, pagers, palm pilots, computers and we are able to be interrupted all day long now matter where we are and no matter what we're doing! All the incessant beeping and ringing and buzzing throughout our day leaves us feeling all the more the pressures of the tyranny of the urgent. The appeals of these demands seems irresistible, and yet they devour our energy, peace, joy and rest! In the light of eternity and what is of eternal and lasting value, their importance fades!

The "convenience" of these things comes with blessings but struggles and difficulties too. The price we pay for the "convenience" of being able to be reached anywhere or to reach others anywhere comes at a very high price, .as it often robs us of our peace and contentment and joy! 

There is also a huge responsibility in how we use these "tools" or "conveniences", but often we find it hard to limit ourselves and the use of these things in our lives.  We feel it is necessary to carry them with us wherever we go. We sleep with them on, we carry them on walks with us, and on vacation, we have them on vibrate during meetings, and we often feel compelled to check email all throughout the day, .just so we don't miss anything.

For some of us, we are required by our job to do some of these things, .but for some of us it is just that we feel compelled to do this when we don't necessarily have to. For those of us who do not "have" to keep them on, we need to purpose to turn them off or leave them home! J We need to purpose to, not, take the cell phone on walks. We need to give ourselves a scheduled time to check email and to reply, or to work on the computer, .and then turn it off. A young mother shared with me recently, how she has DSL and that she had been leaving her computer on all day as she was home. Each time a message came through she could hear it. Also, because it was on and open, she was tempted as she walked by it to check it. She realized that this was taking up too much of her time and so she has decided to only check it during her timed, scheduled email time in the morning before her children got up or at her children's rest time, . and then she is going to turn it off all day, so she is not tempted to allow it to tempt her. Also, for really busy moms of small children, if you are finding it hard to make it through all the emails, ..you might want to consider taking yourself off a lot of email loops or change email addresses and start fresh, only handing out the email address to close friends and family if you're overwhelmed with trying to get back to everyone. You also might want to lovingly explain to family and friends that because you're trying to be more faithful to be diligent in your day, you might not have time to respond and it might take you a while, .just so they don't get their feelings hurt. I know many young women that just don't do email at all just because it's too much to keep up with. This is just a thought if you are drowning under an email pile! And it is perfectly fine, not to email, too! I know that is seems impossible to be able to live without it, but I know many women who do today.

With a sense of loss we recall all the important tasks we've pushed aside or feel we've had to let go because of all the urgent things that are constantly seeking our attention.

We need to take time to access our lives, and how we're living them. Without stopping to pray and think and ponder and meditate and seek the Lord, we will not realize how far off his path we are. For me, I needed daily time with the Lord. Then the Holy Spirit could nudge me back on the path where I may have been tempted to wander and by doing this daily, .usually it was small reminders to hold important what was truly important. J But occasionally I would need a longer time of reflection or meditating or accessing, especially if things were not going well and I felt that the "rope was tight" in my relationship with Mark or one of the children. If I felt that I really was in need of seeking God and really crying out to him, I would sometimes take a whole rest time (after lunch) or throughout my day be seeking the Lord, praying often for his wisdom and direction. As he began to show me something, I needed to obey. Practicing walking out what the Lord was showing me helped me sooo much and helped our marriage and home so much!

John 10:9-11 "I am the gate; whoever enters through me will be saved. He will come in and go out and find pasture. The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep."

We need to be wise! The enemy of God has come to steal life and to kill us and our hopes and dreams and to destroy us and our families. We need to be wise and discerning and not allow him to gain a foot hold in our lives. Jesus came to save us and to give us life, .and to give us abundant life! 

Often we live in such a way that is so foolish and unwise. We allow satan to gain a foothold in our lives and for lack of wise judgment, understanding and discernment we are easily led away in our foolishness to live a life that the Lord would not have us to and to have but a shadow of the joy, and peace that we long for. We allow ourselves to become soooo busy doing what we think is good, that we miss God's best. We have to keep looking to the Lord and what HE says we should be focusing on and keep the priorities he's given us in his Word. We also have to keep looking at what we, say, is important in our lives, what we say our goals are. Just as we would refer to a map often when traveling, so we need to refer often to the goals we feel that are right, good and biblical for our lives, .to see how we're doing and if we're staying on track or not. It is much easier to make minor corrections, then to have to make major ones because we've gotten soooo far off track! J Referring to the Lord and His Word often, allows the Holy Spirit to help us keep on track.

1 Timothy 6:6-12 "But godliness with contentment is GREAT GAIN. For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that. People who want to get rich fall into temptation and a trap and into many foolish and harmful desires that plunge men into ruin and destruction. For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many grief's. But you, man of God, flee from all this, and PURSUE righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance and gentleness. Fight the good fight of the faith."

When my husband Mark was growing up in the 50's and 60's, 70's his father worked as many as 3 jobs at a time. After some years, his father became the president of a large national corporation. While this position, prestige and wealth gave his family a big, beautiful home, nice, new cars and money to travel and to provide for many, many luxuries, .it did not provide them with the love, nurturing and guidance of a father who was active and involved in his children's lives. All daddy's must work and most father's are very, very busy making a living for their families and providing for them. Sometimes though husbands feel that they need to work soooo much more and spend soooo much extra time working and being away from the home to provide not just for the needs of a family, but for the MANY wants of their families. We as wives and mothers can make sure that we are being content in the Lord and in his provision when we speak to our husbands and children. We need to not be constantly wanting to buy things, or change things or spend money, .if we do, we are part of what makes our husband feel compelled to work harder to provide for those things. The same is true of our children. We need to be wise women who encourage and train our children to learn to be content wherewith. To thank daddy for what he provides and how hard he works!

While Mark loved his father, he desired to do things differently when he became a husband and father himself. We were not Christians when we got married, but a couple of years later we did come to Christ before we had children. Mark had a huge desire to honor God and to bring him glory. He also wanted to have godly character in his life. He wanted to be responsible to provide for the needs of his family financially, . but he also felt it was important to learn contentment and to seek godliness first and foremost. He was not eager for money at the expense of relationship with both God and his family.

He also wanted to be available to have strong, healthy relationships with his family. Mark saw the value of having "margin" in his life. I have been so very blessed to have learned this from my sweet husband. I have seen Mark make many, many decisions that have been difficult at times but he has made them knowing what his ultimate goals really are and what he feels is important in the light of eternity. I have seen him resist the urge to keep climbing the corporate ladder, instead over the years he has wisely counted the cost. He knew that our children would be young only once and only for a short time! He also knew that working on our marriage was much more important than having a lot of money in the bank. I know though, that had the Lord not helped me to learn to be content, I could have wrongly pushed Mark to provide more and more for us, .because of my wrong attitude. It was soooo important for me to learn how to be content and grateful for ALL the Lord had already provided!

Proverbs 30:8-9 is another of my favorite life verses "give me neither poverty nor riches; but give me only my daily bread. Otherwise, I may have too much and disown you and say 'Who is the Lord?' Or I may become poor and steal, and so dishonor the name of my God."

I have seen Mark be content with what God has provided. He knows the secret that Paul talks about in Phil 4:11-12! In the end after many years the Lord has raised Mark up and has blessed him with position, and influence and financially, .but not at the expense of relationship or family and things that are of eternal, lasting importance. And the Lord has helped me to learn soooo much from him!

Is there any escape to this pattern of living in the Tyranny of the Urgent? Yes! J There is hope!

Jesus desires that we look at his life, and the example he left us and to follow Him! His life showed a wonderful balance and sense of timing.

A.E. Whiteham writes of Jesus' life "Here in this Man is adequate purpose, .inward rest, that gives an air of leisure to His crowded life. Above all there is in this Man a secret and a power of dealing with the waste-products of life, the waste of pain, disappointment, death, .making a short life of about thirty years, abruptly cut off, to be a 'finished' life. We cannot admire the poise and beauty of this human life, and then ignore the things that made it."

Jesus lived a life of prayer. He looked OFTEN to the Father for direction, leading and for the Father's will. He knew how to wait for instructions from His Father. And to wait patiently.

Jesus set an example for us that we would be wise to follow.

Mark 1:35 "Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed."

I am often asked what is the number one thing that has made the difference in my life, and my answer would be spending time DAILY in God's Word! Learning to rise early, and go and spend time with Jesus, .praying and reading his Word has made ALL the difference in my life and in helping me to learn from Jesus and to learn how to walk in his ways. While I still have FAR to go and while this is definitely a life long process, .I'm soooo very, very grateful for the fruit that the Lord has blessed my life with!

I truly believe that there is one other thing that has made a HUGE difference too, it is found in James 1:22-25 and it is another life verse of mine.

James 1:22-25 "Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like a man who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. But the man who looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues to do this, not forgetting what he has heard, but doing it ~ he will be blessed in what he does."

It is not enough to just spend time praying and reading God's Word, .we must be willing to do what it says and what God shows us.

 Hearing truth is not the same as obeying it!

It is only as we hear it, .AND obey it, that we will begin to see fruit and the blessings of it in our lives and in our families. 

It takes time to wait upon the Lord, to pursue him and to read His Word. It takes time and effort to meditate upon His Word and to listen to the Holy Spirit's leading.

Many of us as believers are seeking to be faithful to hear God's truth, .but we also need to be wise to obey the truth that the Lord has given us, by the grace and power of the Holy Spirit. This "light" that God has already given us, needs to be applied to our lives. As we obey each bit of light and understanding the Lord blesses us with, he gives us more! J If we were training someone to do a job, would we give them more and more information, without them ever using it? No. If they aren't practicing and applying it as they learn it, more will not help them! They will not be remembering any of it or hardly any of it, unless they are taking each bit of "light" of knowledge and applying it, .practicing, and doing what they have learned.

Mark trains people all the time on the computer. He tells me often how helpful it is when he is learning something new to do the job he must do, .that if he practices and takes what he's been taught and applies it, .he begins to be able to remember it and also to see how it works, and seeing the fruit and this encourages him. Then as he learns more, he again begins to again practice using what he's being taught and he is gaining more and more ability to apply and use and benefit from the knowledge he's gathering. He knows other men who have taken the same courses as he has, . who have only been hearers, .but not doers, .they have NOT gone home and practiced or worked with the knowledge they received, .and they are no farther along and have no benefits from the truth they heard. They are still asking the most elementary of questions and constantly not "getting it" because they simply won't take the time to begin using what they've learned and applying it as they go along the way. They keep taking more and more classes, seeking more knowledge, .but knowledge that is not used does not become practical or worthwhile. 

Just hearing information doesn't do much good, if you're not applying it in your life. As we look to the Lord for wisdom and discernment, he will help us apply the truth we read in His Word and that we hear being taught, to our lives. God's grace makes it possible for us to practice walking it out, .and this will bring us blessing and benefit our lives in abundance! J

John 10:27-28 "My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life"

We need to listen to God's voice, but we also need to follow it! J This was the key to Jesus' life, .he counted it important to listen for God's leading and direction, .but also to obey it and follow it, doing the will of the Father!

Luke 8:21 Jesus said "My mother and brothers are those who hear God's word and put it into practice."

Luke 11:28 Jesus replied "Blessed rather are those who hear the word of God and obey it."

Ezekiel 33:31 "My people come to you, as they usually do, and sit before you to listen to your words, but they do not put them into practice."

Phil. 4:9 "Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me, .put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you."

Jesus gave us an example that we should follow in his steps.

1 Peter 2:21-24 "To this you were called, because Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in his steps. He committed no sin, and no deceit was found in his mouth. When they hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats. Instead, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly. He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; by his wounds you have been healed."

One of the keys to Jesus' life was that to say yes to the Father's purpose meant saying "no" to urgent demands of human need. These frequent decisions must have been extremely difficult and painful for Jesus! His love compelled him to do it all, but his obedience was to the Father and his purpose. Jesus trusted and rested in doing the will of the Father which is always right, and good.

I know in my own life, when Matt was small and I had to drive him back and forth to private, ½ day Christian school, and then I helped and served at the school, it was a very busy time in our lives. Then while we began to have more children and the demands and needs increased in our family and now with our large family and the many needs that come with having a large family and being a stay at home mother and home educating our children, .I have had the heart's desire to do "it all" as I have heard and seen so many needs around me.

But to do this, it would have meant that I would not have been accomplishing the will of God and of my husband in meeting the needs of our own family.

 There were many years of having to say some "yes's" but many "no's" to urgent requests and to urgent needs that are all around us and the "no's" were never easy, and sometimes were truly painful.

I remember one time in my prayer time with the Lord, that I felt such a huge compelling desire in my life to GO and serve God on the mission field! I remember feeling almost urgent in it! Then the still, small voice of the Holy Spirit was there, and his words to me were "will you serve me on THIS mission field that I've placed you on?" Wow! That one took me by surprise! Serve you HERE Lord, I asked?! "yes" was his answer. "will you care for your husband and children, and will you make this house a home and will you let me use you HERE, to raise up arrows for the Lord?" Wow! I had never thought of wiping noses, and changing dirty diapers in that way before! As a mission field for the Lord! *God may call certain young families onto mission fields far from home and family, .but many of us will be serving the Lord by just simply living for Jesus daily in our marriages and homes, here in our own homes in the United States! J We need to take this mission seriously and to see it as a GREAT and MIGHTY calling of the Lord upon our lives to be the godly wives and mothers that he would have us to be as we live out our faith in our marriages and home and as we faithful teach and train our children to look to Christ and to put their faith in Him!

Now, years later I am sooo very grateful for the leading of both God and Mark in my life. Those years of seeking to be faithful to what the Lord was leading us to do has brought fruit and peace and joy and now we are able to say "yes" much more often in this season of our lives, to serving as a family outside our home. It has been awesome to now have our children serving alongside us. God's timing is perfect as we seek to stay in step with him. All of the "quiet" seasons of serving helped to prepare all of us for the serving we are doing today as a family.

Jesus prayerfully waited for the Father's instruction and this freed him from the tyranny of the urgent. It gave him a sense of direction and set a steady pace for him in accomplishing the important work that God has assigned him. When we prayerfully wait upon the Lord and his leading and directing in our life, .we too will experience a sense of purposefulness and direction. As we learn to follow Jesus we will learn how to have a sense of direction to our day, instead of it being so chaotic, and we'll be setting a steady pace for our lives that will help us to accomplish God's will.

Many of us as young wives and mothers feel that our lives are so very chaotic. We look around our home and all we see is ALL that needs to be done! We see the pile of papers on our desk, we see the dust and the carpet that needs vacuumed. We see the piles of pictures left to be put into albums. We open a closet and see the mess that is in there. We go into the laundry room and see the overflowing laundry baskets. We go into our bedroom and we see the pile of clean clothes waiting to be folded and put away. We begin to feel very overwhelmed and stressed. We can't see how we can care for the small children we have AND do ALL that we see that needs to be done!

It takes time to sit down and make a schedule, .but if we do this, we can manage all the daily things that need to be done and we can bring them under control! We can make time to do them in a systematic way so that our home will always be relatively clean and neat. We will have a sense of direction to our day. By making a schedule we will be bringing order to the chaotic and "urgent" needs and demands within our home. We will be setting a steady pace for doing the things that need to be done and then purposing to do them. By doing this, we will not be so overwhelmed. We will see that the house needs to be dusted, and we will be able to rest knowing that Monday it will get dusted. We will see that the floor needs to be vacuumed and we will be able to rest, knowing that tomorrow is the scheduled vacuuming day. We will have scheduled times of work and this will leave us times to rest and times to invest in our husband, children and others without feeling guilty or overwhelmed.

When we come to Christ we experience the deliverance of Christ over the power of sin and the penalty of sin in our lives, .but will we also allow him to free us from the tyranny of the urgent? Will we allow Jesus to help us live a life that has eternal focus and purposefulness?

In John 8:31-32 "If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free."

God's truth sets us free. When we hide God's Word in our hearts Ps. 119:11 it helps us to not sin. It reminds us of God's will for us and this helps us not to sin, just knowing and remembering God's truth helps us to be more apt to obey it. If you don't know God's Word, you won't truly know Him or his character and this will make it difficult for you to feel you can trust him. And if you don't know his Word, how will you know how to obey him and what would be wise and prudent in life to do?! If we didn't know the rules of the road, it would be very difficult to drive wouldn't it? It's the same for life. If we don't know God's directions to us, we won't know how we should be living our lives and we won't know what is good and right to do. Being in the Word DAILY, helps our minds and hearts to be renewed and this helps us to want to follow Jesus and obey him. 

Dependence upon God is a huge key in how successful we'll be in becoming free from the tyranny of the urgent and in accomplishing the GOAL's God has for our lives.

If we hold to Jesus' teaching and directions and example, .then we will experience freedom! Many of us have experienced Christ's freedom when we come to him from the bondage of sin, but then we allow ourselves to become enslaved again to the tyranny of the urgent.

The path to our freedom is to realize our huge need to be dependent upon God and to continue day by day to meditate on the Scriptures and gain our Lord's perspective in our lives. To learn from him what is important and what is not and to gain his godly outlook on our lives and the situations we face.

I remember once when Mark and I were a young couple. We had just one baby at the time and a very young couple that lived down the street from us said they needed help. We were pretty young Christians, and while we were in the Word daily we had soooo much to yet learn about God's perspective and principles. The couple said they had no money and that they needed help. The girl was pregnant. They needed food and medicine. They asked for our help. We saw their need and did what we could to try to help them. We bought food for them and reached out to them hoping to share the love of Christ with them. As time went on we saw them not being encouraged to do what they could, but to rely more and more upon help. As we continued looking to the Lord and to read his Word, .he helped us to gain a godly perspective.   God helped us to realize that while it was good to reach out and to help meet their needs there did come a time when this same help would have actually hobbled this couple and would have kept them immature and not growing. A time when the help would have actually not be helpful to them at all, .but hindering instead. There came a time when we had to lovingly say "no" and this was very hard for Mark and I especially because a baby was involved. But God was teaching us and he was growing us and helping us to gain his perspective.

The root of all of our sin is pride and self-sufficiency. When we are not looking to the Lord daily in prayer, or spending time in his Word daily we are saying with our actions if not with our words that we do not need him! Take a moment to stop and think about that. Few of us would actually use words to say this aloud, .but if we stop and really think about it, the Holy Spirit will help us see the difficult and painful truth in the reality of this statement.

How much of our service is us "going it alone?" Or us doing what others think we should?

The opposite of this independence is us counting it important to pray often. To be daily in God's Word, looking to him for leading and direction and wisdom. In which we acknowledge our dependence and our huge need for God's guidance and empowerment.

So, .if we feel "pricked" by the Holy Spirit that much of this rings true and that we have fallen into the trap and enslavement of Tyranny of the Urgent, what can we do to break free? What are the next steps? What can we do that is practical and helpful and purposeful?

What's the solution? What do we do to fix this and to live life accomplishing the will of our Father?

Before we can make a schedule, we have to consider what is important and where does our time currently go. These two steps are soooo important to help us know the GOAL's we feel are important and should have as well as what is keeping us from achieving them right now in our lives?

1.        Decide what's important? What are your GOAL's (Godly Ordained Activities for my Life)? What is the legacy you hope to leave one day? What do you want said of you one day? Write down the GOAL's that are important to you. What you base these GOAL's upon determines the outcome. If we are believers we should be basing our GOAL's upon God's principles found in His Word and the leading of the Holy Spirit and our husbands wisdom and discernment. Not on what the world says is important or of value.

2.       Discover where your time goes? Begin with an accurate accounting for how you are currently spending the time you have. We must face reality! Our mental picture of how we spend our time, is usually a VERY different thing than the reality of how we actually do spend our time each day. I would suggest writing down each and every thing you actually do on paper to get an accurate view of where your time is truly going, and how much time you're really spending on certain activities. I would do this for a week or so to get a true picture of whether you are allowing the urgent to overtake the important in your life. Dieters often do this when beginning a diet. Often we don't realize how much we're really putting in our mouths and eating. It's not until we have to write down each and everything that goes in, do we fully realize how often we were not remembering what we had truly eaten! The awareness helps us to see our need and to have an accurate picture of what we need to fix in our eating habits, so we can plan out what to do that is helpful and beneficial instead of the way we're currently doing things. Practice does not make perfect, .perfect practice makes perfect. If we are continuing to do things that we should not do, how can we expect to have a different outcome? It is only as we see the reality of how we are currently spending our time, that what we have been holding as important will become clearer. Many times this alone will be sooo very beneficial and eye opening to us. We will see how much time, effort and energy we are spending on things that we would not say are eternal or important to us, and yet we're giving them so much of our time and effort each day. This realization helps us to see what is true and this truth begins to set us free, .and as we look to the Lord in repentance and admit our need and our dependency upon him he will give us grace and mercy and he will help us.

3.       Budget the Hours. Much like you would your money. I once saw an "experiment" where a man took big jar and began filling it with large stones. He stated that these large stones stood for the important and non-negotiables in life, our relationship with God, and our relationships with our immediate family, our health. Next the man poured in pebbles. These pebbles stood for the things that were important too like friends, work, and ministry. As the man poured these smaller pebbles into the jar, they fit sooo nicely in between the larger stones. Next he began to pour in sand. The sand stood for the many, many things of life that are necessary like cleaning, exercise, meetings, neighbors, maintenance on the car, the telephone, the computer,etc. Again, as the man poured in the sand it all fell in and around the stones and pebbles and filled in the jar nicely. Finally he, held a cup of coffee and he began to pour this into the jar. Amazingly enough, it too fit nicely. While he poured he said "we always want to be able to fit in a cup of coffee with a friend" J He then went on to explain that often we're tempted to fill our "jars" with the sand first. The sand "seems" like the important stuff, because it seems so urgent and occurs so often in our lives! If we allow ourselves to fill our "jars" (our lives) with the sand, there would not be room for the pebbles or the stones! I know this is what I did for many years. It is only as we purpose to put first things first, that we are able to fit in the other things as we are able to. If we begin to get things backwards, we need to stop and re-evaluate, dump the jar and start over! J That is what is so precious about our relationship with Christ, his grace always makes it possible to have a fresh start! If you spend all your money on going out to eat, movies or buying things, you will not have the money you need to pay your bills (which are important). The same thing is true of your time, .if you don't budget it properly, you will find that you don't have the energy, strength or time left for what is important if you've spent it all on the urgent things of life. The Lord is so very gracious! His grace makes us able to do that which he is calling us to do, one baby step at a time! Pray and evaluate how you can make a couple of significant changes. The success you experience in these areas will GREATLY motivate you to continue the process and to stick with the budget! One of the most significant changes that I would whole heartedly encourage you to make that will have the biggest outcome is to be in the Word DAILY and to give God the first fruits of your day! You will be amazed at how much this one things will great affect your life!

4.       Follow Through! Even the best laid plans produce little fruit without a firm resolve and commitment to implement them! Each morning in your quiet time with the Lord and as you read his Word, recommit yourself, your life and THIS day to the Lord. Re-purpose to do today that which you know is right, good and that which is important. To focus on the things the Lord is laying upon your heart and showing you. To purpose to gain His perspective to the things you face in life. Take a few moments to write down the tasks that need to be done in their proper priority. Pray over it, and ask the Lord for direction and grace to do what you need to. We need to have structure to our day, but be willing to flex it if the Lord leads us to or if there is an unexpected turn of events. Sometimes the turn lasts only a few moments or is a small portion of the day, we need to be prepared and stay focused to jump back on track and to jump into the plan where we can rather than scrap the plan for that day. I know I often used to do this. I would have something come up in the morning, and instead of purposing to get back on track for the afternoon and evening, I would often give in to my flesh and just allow the whole day to be off track and to not purpose to keep moving forward as I was able to and supposed to do. Don't quit or get discouraged. Look to the Lord for encouragement and grace and stay the course! It will take many little corrections throughout the day to stay focused and doing what we should be, and what the Lord would have us to do and to stay on course. Much like a ships captain keeps a ship on course. J I feel the most important part of following through is to prayerfully think through and write down what you feel the Lord and your husband feel is important and profitable for you to focus on each day and each week in your life and in your family's life. Once these things are written down, you can rest that you now have a plan that has been thought over and prayed through and that you feel is right and good and beneficial. Then, the next important step is to make an upfront commitment to DO what you've decided in your heart is right, good, and biblical that you've written down.  You do not decide in the moment whether you "feel" like doing it or not, ..you make a commitment before the Lord and look often to him for the grace to just DO what you've said you should do! So if you have a schedule and you've prayed and put down on your schedule the things that will help you to achieve the GOAL's that you feel the Lord has for you, .you don't go up and look at the schedule then in the moment and decide whether you "feel" like doing it or not, .you go look at the schedule and follow through by God's grace what it tells you to do! The thinking is done! You've done that ahead of time and you wrote down what you felt the Lord wanted you to do. In the moment you cannot allow your flesh to win and to rule! You must be disciplined and committed to do what you know is right as unto the Lord, looking to him and depending upon him for the grace and strength to walk it out moment by moment! Each tiny baby step of progress you make in obeying, helps you so much to obey again! Obedience breeds more obedience! You will be more motivated as you begin to see the fruit that comes from it and as you have more joy and peace in obeying the Lord and his will for you life! Don't look too far ahead and think "I can't do this EVERYDAY!" Only think about today. God's grace is sufficient for, .today! Not for any other day, only today! We begin to get discouraged as we look too far ahead and we think that all the tomorrow's will be this hard, and that is a lie! We cannot possibly see how God will continue to work in us and in our children and in our husband and finances and home, .we cannot see how what we do TODAY will actually help tomorrow be soooo much better! It is only as we begin to walk out by faith what we feel the Lord would have us to do, and then begin to experience and see the fruit that our faith is built and we begin to see that God's way is right and good and we become more and more convinced and this helps us to develop godly convictions in our lives and wisdom. We are seeking not to be as the pharisee's were, worried only with how we look to others, or in perfection for the sake of pridefulness. We are seeking to be faithful through God's grace. He tells us to practice, to pursue that which is godly and righteous. He tells us to walk out our faith and to serve him and our husbands and families, this is how we do it. J Jesus desires that we become mature and complete not lacking in anything. He desires that we love what God loves, people. And as we become more orderly and organized, and efficient in the running of our home and in our daily schedule, we will have more time for the things that are of lasting, and eternal value to God. We will have more opportunities to build relationships and to serve as the Lord leads us in our homes and elsewhere. When we feel this discouragement it is a signal to us that we are either looking ahead and we don't have the grace or wisdom to do that. What we usually see and believe is a LIE! Satan has come to steal, kill and destroy and one of the ways he does this is to discourage you and make you want to quit! Don't give in to him! When you are discouraged it is your "signal" to STOP and look to the Lord and to think on what is TRUE! "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me!" Phil 4:13 "And my God will meet ALL YOUR NEEDS according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus." Phil. 4:19 "And God is able to make ALL grace ABOUND to you so that in ALL things, at ALL times, having ALL that you need, you will ABOUND in every good work." 2 Cor. 9:8 God's truth that we stop to think and remember helps equip us and strengthen us and encourage us to press forward toward the prize! J BUT we have to know God's truth in order to be able to remember it, .so we have to be in His Word daily to begin replacing our wrong, sinful, unbiblical thinking with God's truth and with his perspective!

There are a couple of keys that will help us be more faithful to follow through on our GOAL's while not allowing the tyranny of the urgent to over take us, .

1. Beware of the tyranny of the telephone, cell phone and computer! Today more than ever we can be reached anytime and any place with the use of cell phones, palm pilots, computers etc We will have to purpose to turn them off, or to not answer them. It is hard too with caller ID, we know we shouldn't answer right now, but we see the name of a good friend and we're tempted to go ahead and answer putting dinner way behind or making our husband wait etc. It takes real determination and self-control to be wise in how we much we allow the telephone, cell phone and computers and other devices to rob us of time that is important and of the things that we feel are of eternal value!

2. Count the cost! Sometimes there is an urgent request for something you have no budgeted hours for. Be wise! Stop! Pause! Pray! Ask the person if you can look over your calendar, talk with your husband and pray about it and call them back. (Even if you need to call them back within a short amount of time, take a few moments to pause, and to seek the wisdom and leading of the Lord and of your husband, and calendar this will keep you from feeling like a ball in a pinball machine!) Often the request looks far less urgent, after the phone is silent. If you can withstand the "urgency" of the moment, as sometimes we allow others urgency to be taken on as our own, you can then weigh the cost and discern whether this task is God's will or not for you and for your family. Part of our maturing in the Lord is learning to stay in step with the Spirit and with the plan the Lord has lovingly given us. He has given us a husband that is such a blessing as he can often help to keep us balanced and focused upon our path, when we might otherwise allow our emotions to lead us astray. Learning this one simple step will help you tremendously to stay in step with the Holy Spirit and his leading. It may be that after taking the time to count the cost, that you feel the Lord would have you accept the invitation or help out. But if on the other hand you decide that you cannot make room in your schedule you can decline the request for the task and do so without guilt! God is able to meet their needs in a variety of ways! Sometimes we feel we are indespensible, when the Lord has many ways he can meet those needs. Often after the fact we will hear about the mighty way God answered. Sometimes he will allow us to be part of that answer, and sometimes he will use others! Know yourself and know your weaknesses. If you know that you can't hear of a need without feeling like you HAVE to help, .then be wise and be careful! Satan would love for us to get distracted going around doing much good, and yet not doing what we truly need to and what the Lord has truly called us to!

3. If you get off track, don't fret and don't quit, just jump back on the path!  When your plans fail, or you loose your budgeting resolve and get off track, the key is not to quit! Don't become so discouraged or overwhelmed that you feel like quitting. Just stop and pray and pause and regroup! Jump back on to wherever you can and keep moving forward. Stay committed to the overall strategy!

 

Another of my key life verses is Gal. 6:9 "Let us not become weary in well doing for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up."

I know for me, it took time to even learn what was important and should be important in life! It was as I spent time in God's Word each day that the Lord began to re-work my mind and heart and to renew me and my way of thinking. Also we're told in Proverbs over and over again that the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. Having a healthy awe and respect for God and for his thoughts and his perspective is the beginning of what makes us wise. This took time for me, .but it began with me thinking that God knew more than me and that I needed him and as I began to humble myself before Him and admit how wrong I was and to see how wrong I was by the Holy Spirit's leading this is what began to help me learn to be more wise. I've a long way to go for sure, but am so thankful for what the Lord has done!

Once I began learning what the Lord felt was important and worthy for my life, then began the struggle of learning how to "fit it in" and to count it important to purpose to make time for these things in my life and family. These important things will not just "happen" to get done, because they are not "urgent" they can easily be pushed aside. It takes discipline and purposefulness to say "no" to that which will keep me from accomplishing the will of my Father.

Because Bible study, prayer, reading an important life changing book, having quality time with our children or spouse that is intimate and unhurried, or visiting with an elderly neighbor or relative can often wait a while longer, we can wrongly allow them to take a back seat and either never get done or rarely get done as they should be, as the urgent of life crowds these needs out and somehow makes them "seem" less important.

 Often, the urgent, though less important tasks call for immediate response, endless demands and "urgencies" pressure our every waking hour it seems! Our world today seems to be moving at lightening speed too! We live in a world where it is difficult to shut down and draw away. Cell phones ring endlessly, and people can reach us almost anywhere.

It takes a huge concentrated effort to draw away and to have quiet to think and pray and to draw close to the Lord. It takes a huge concentrated effort to shut off our phone, to not answer it (especially with caller ID, we're tempted to look and see who it is and then feel we must answer it), or to leave our phone home, to not be tempted to check our email, or to turn off the computer and close it.

 Unlike money, time comes to each of us in equal amounts! There is an astonishing variety of the ways we use the time God has given us and the results of the choices we make! This is due to the differences of our talents, energy and opportunities.

But in the end of the analysis how we use our time is largely dependent upon, .our goals! We spend our hours on what we think is important!

So much of what "seems" important, ends up "robbing" us of doing what was truly needed, necessary, important and what the Lord really had for us to do. We end up spending hours on an impulse or an unexpected opportunity or demand, .often feeling like we live in a pin ball machine, .where we are the ball "bouncing" here and there, to and fro with little direction, just being "pushed" by levers in our lives.

As we study the life of Christ we see the wonderful balance and sense of timing that he had. We can learn so much by studying his life to apply to our own lives.

We have to take time to evaluate our lives before the Lord and allow Him to show us what he feels we need to change. God looks at our hearts and he is most interested in our hearts changing, not just our schedules.

I do this daily as I meet with the Lord each morning for my quiet time. I have found that it helps me to stay more in step and not be so far off the path by stopping and praying and looking to the Lord each morning and then throughout my day as well, making any necessary changes throughout my day as the Lord leads, .keeps me more in step with his will for my life.

Christians who are too busy to stop, and take spiritual inventory and receive their assignments from God become slaves to the tyranny of the urgent! They may work very hard day and night to achieve much that seems significant to themselves and to others, but they don't complete the work that God has for them to do.

The busier we get the more we need this time before God seeking him and yet the busier we get, we wrongly feel we can't take the time! This is called shooting ourselves in the foot!  We become like a fanatic who unsure of his direction, doubles his speed! As you can imagine not much real and lasting progress is made doing it this way!

Prayerful waiting upon God is indispensable to effective service! Like a time out in a basket-ball game it helps us to catch our breath and re-evaluate our strategy, .seeing if we're on the path or if we need to make some slight corrections. Again if done daily in the stillness and quiet of the morning, .when we can hear God better without any distractions, .he is able to make small corrections to our direction and to give us leading and guiding. 

If you approach this quiet time in God's Word and in prayer each day as a time to finish the Bible study notes for a class you're taking then you aren't really fellowshipping with God and allowing him to speak to your heart, you are "doing business". It's not that doing Bible study homework for a class you're in isn't important, helpful or valuable, it just can't be the only way you spend time in God's Word! This would be equivalent to only spending time with your husband with a clipboard in your hand, asking him questions and writing down the answers. This would not do much in the long run to build and grow your intimacy with him, .the same is true of our relationship and intimacy with Christ!

In prayer we learn the truth about our hearts and ourselves and our needs, and about how God can help us and of his love for us. In prayer and in spending time in his Word and allowing the Holy Spirit to show us his truth and teach us, we learn about the tasks that the Lord wants us to do.

Often we feel we must meet a need, just because it comes to us so urgently. We need to wisely look to the Lord in prayer and see if the Lord is calling us to meet it. The Lord knows our limitations and he knows the plans he has for us. We need to be consistently looking to him to make sure we're accomplishing what he has for us to do.

It is not God who loads us down until we bend, or break with an ulcer, heart attack or stroke. These largely come from our own inner compulsions under the pressure of external demands. Often we push and push and push ourselves to do things because we think they HAVE to be done, .or because other people think they HAVE to be done.

We will either live each day, moment by moment feeling overwhelmed and burdened by the busyness and urgency of life, going through life constantly responding to outward pressures and inward compulsions, ..or we can CHOOSE to stop, .and to wisely make some changes with the Lord's leading and direction. We have the leading of the Holy Spirit and God's principles and example for us to be able to follow and learn from. As we're trying to figure out what to count as important and what to give time to each day, .we should be holding important in our lives, what God says is important. This will help us greatly.

We can prayerfully plan and set up a schedule for our day based upon holding that which is important, .important! Making time for the things in our lives that will help us to grow in godliness and maturity. Making time for relationships and for serving our husband and children in the ways that the Lord would have us to. We can write down and make a plan that will enable us to achieve the GOAL's (Godly ordained activities for my life) that we feel the Lord would have us to and that we know will make a difference in our lives and family for eternity.

We often find ourselves thinking or saying, .I could NEVER do this or that, .because we think that we will be adding it into our already overflowing and overwhelming schedule. No. We need to start from scratch. We need to evaluate everything we're doing and not just keep adding one thing after another until we are at a breaking point. We need to stop, and think and pray and start with a fresh piece of paper, and then allow the Lord to help us see what we need to keep and what we need to stop and what we might add in it's place that will help us and grow us more.

A few weeks ago, in one of my morning quiet times the Lord spoke to my heart and encouraged me to take a long look at my calendar. What I saw was LOTS of writing! He laid upon my heart that I was getting off the path that he has for me. The things that were written there were all good things, things that would help others. BUT, the Lord reminded me if I am busy doing a lot of good, .but not the good that he has for me, then it matters not! 

It's not that I could not do some of those things, .but he lovingly showed me that I had not been stopping and praying enough and looking to him enough before making commitments. Oh, how thankful I am for his love and grace and mercy! He was sooo right! So, .I repented and looked to him for direction and grace and also looked to Mark. There were some things I could cancel and so I did. There were some commitments I needed to see through and so I did. BUT then I purposed to get back on the path and to not say "yes" to anything without first seeking God and Mark. What a difference it has made!

Without daily time to wait upon the Lord and to seek him and hear from him, we will never escape the tyranny of the urgent!

NOTHING substitutes for KNOWING on this day, at this hour, in this place, we are doing the will of God. Only then can we rest in peace that we have fought the good fight, that we have run with perseverance the race marked out for us and that we might one day hear from Jesus, .."Well done thou good and faithful servant!" Matt. 25:21 This is my hope in Christ for me and my family as well as for all of you and your families!

God bless each of you!

With much love,

Lori